Know Your Stars: Sasuke Uchiha
by MidnightSakuraBlossom and SYD
Summary: Sasuke stumbles upon the 'Know Your Stars' set by pure accident, now he must suffer the mysterious 'voice! Who is the person behind this? Sasuke bashing included, you've been warned...


Author's Note: One of my first Naruto fics, was a "Know Your Stars" fic about Gaara...

And now, I figured; why not? Why not write another? But with a less favored character of mine:_** Sasuke ;)**_

*Laughs manically* I mean...um...*Giggles innocently* Yeah, that's it. Sasuke gets the 'joy' of suffering the "voice".

If it's not as funny as the first one, sorry. I didn't have enough time to think out some things to be "revealed" about Sasuke...

Oh, and Sasuke will probably be OOC! The again, Gaara was as well...

Disclaimer: Er...the Naruto Shippuden series isn't mine, All That isn't mine, and none of the people food anime series, or items that are probably mentioned aren't mine. -.-

**;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;**

_Know Your Stars: Sasuke Uchiha:_

Sasuke Uchiha sighed as he wandered through a seemingly empty building. He was told that he had a mission to spy on some people at this very place.

But looking through room after room, he found nothing. It was totally deserted...or so he thought until he walked up to a suspicious red door.

"...Where does this door led to? ...Another empty room?"

Sasuke sighed and twisted the doorknob; he opened it with ease and walked into a room that actually had furniture and really bright stage lights shining down from a..._studio set_?

Sasuke rose an eyebrow and walked up to the middle of the room. Suddenly, _music_ started playing from nowhere!

"What the he-"

**...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...**

Sasuke was caught off guard by that mysterious voice and gasped as he glanced around looking for it.

"Who was that?"

**...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...**

"I'll Chidori your heart so hard that you'll be seeing stars..."

**...WELCOME, _SASUKE UCHIHA!_**

Sasuke yelped as he fell to the floor from the impact of that scream. It was so strong that the set rumbled as if there was an earthquake!

**Sorry about the low-quality of the audio.**

"LOW-QUALITY?"

Sasuke glared in a random direction and got up off the floor. He then wiped himself off.

"That was the LOUDEST VOICE I'VE EVER HEARD!"

**Oh...HAHA! You're so funny...now then, let's get this started...**

Sasuke blinked as a chair randomly popped up beside him. He didn't know what to expect, so he warily sat down. All while glaring in a random direction.

**Sasuke Uchiha...betrayed his village and went to a pedophile snake-man...**

Sasuke blinked.

"...Anybody who's been reading the manga chapters from the original series should know THAT." Sasuke mentioned. "What's with pointing out the obvious?"

**...And then Sasuke Uchiha became gay and raped Naruto Uzumaki when they encountered after two-and-a-half years...**

"Duh. Everybody knows-" Sasuke cut himself off as his eyes widened. "WHAT THE HELL?"

Sasuke then glared even harder.

"That isn't true!"

**...Sasuke Uchiha is a rapist and his most-known victims are: Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, Sai, Kabuto Yakushi, Kakashi Hatake, Tsunade, and most recently; Madara Uchiha...**

Sasuke looked horrified and attempted to restore his composure...but _failed_!

"WHAT? That isn't true at all! How about telling something _true_ for once?"

**...Sasuke Uchiha...LOVES incest and made love with Itachi before he died...**

A gagging noise was then heard as Sasuke grabbed a nearby bucket.

**...Sasuke Uchiha is a illegal drug-dealer in Mexico and rapes his male customers...**

"Will you shut up? And where the hell is Mexico? Is that even a real place?" Sasuke shouted. "And I've never raped anybody!"

**Haha...yes you did. Didn't you rape Karin in her sleep?**

"NO!"

**I know you did. I have proof...**

"You have NO proof!" Sasuke protested.

**...Sasuke Uchiha...competes in beauty pageants; aways coming in second place...**

Sasuke scowled evilly.

"That's got to be one of the most stupid things you've said!" Sasuke hissed. "That isn't true at all! What are you going to say next? That I am a _cross-dresser_?"

**Sasuke Uchiha...is a _cross-dresser_ and seduces men so he can rape them and add them to the huge list of victims...**

Sasuke groaned and rubbed his temples.

"I just had to say that..."

**...Sasuke Uchiha...writes dirty love songs about Naruto Uzumaki...**

"WILL YOU SHUT UP? I've never written a dirty love song before! ...Well there was that one about Sakura...but that one was when I got drunk at that party...

**Sasuke Uchiha...is the world's biggest Sailor Moon fanboy...**

This time, Sasuke was pure stunned! Okay...well, he was when the voice said he was a rapist...but now he's saying that he's a Sailor Moon fanboy? It's too much!

"Hey! I hate Sailor Moon! I hate it just as much as you, the Leaf, and those stupid work out DVDs Naruto used to mail me a few years ago!" Sasuke protested.

**...Well if you hate it so much, why where you humming the opening song before you came in here...?**

"I WASN'T!"

**...Sasuke Uchiha...used to be a nerdy Star Treck fan in the seventh grade...but he changed his image once me met the love of his life: _Naruto_...**

"You are so going to die!"

**Sasuke Uchiha...once used his Sharingan to enhance his vision and stare at Tsunade's boobs...**

Sasuke's eyes widened and he was now speechless at that.

"That's a lie! Lies!"

**No it did happen.**

"Didn't!"

**Did happen.**

"Never happened!"

**Did happen.**

"IT NEVER DID!"

**Did happen...**

"I NEVER DID THAT!"

_**Didn't happen...**_

Sasuke's eye twitched. And he then gave a major death-glare.

"I'm tired of arguing with you! I am saying this for the last time: I _DID_ once use my Sharingan to enhance my vision and stare at Tsunade's boobs!"

Realizing what he just said, Sasuke gasped and his eyes widened.

"The voice just screwed me up..."

**...And now you know _Sasuke Uchiha!_ The gay avenger rapist who LOVES incest, has a side-job as a Mexican illegal drug-dealer, raped his bitchy girl partner in her sleep, competed in beauty pageants, cross-dresses and seduces men, writes dirty love songs about Naruto; who is also the love of his life, used to be a sci-fi nerd, and is secretly a pervert and stares at older women's boobs!**

Sasuke groaned and buried his head in his hands.

"You don't know me at _all_! Those are all lies!"

**...That's the truth! Goodbye!**

"Wait! You aren't going anywhere! I DEMAND YOU GET THE HELL BACK HERE SO I CAN (Censored; courtesy for the sanity of the readers)!"

**;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;**

**Meanwhile...**

Naruto stood up over the set by the stage lights. He witnessed the entire thing and couldn't help but smirk as he watched it all.

"That'll teach him to leave the village and become consumed by evil..." Naruto commented.

Naruto then snickered and walked off.

"Now then...time to go tell _Sai_ he can take off the _voice disguiser_..." Naruto said to himself. "...Finally, his words are put to use!"

_**The End.**_

**;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;**

*Silence* Um...well, there it is. Good? Bad? Terrible? Really good? Funny? Made your eyes bleed?

Let me know! :)

...And yeah, *twitches and rubs the back of my neck* er...no offense to *gags* Sasuke fans. This was for entertainment to the readers and me!

Like I said before, I'm sorry if it wasn't too funny like the first one I did. I tried.

And you know...I kind of like writing these "know your stars" fics. I might write some more in the future. ^_^

_Read and Review! :]_


End file.
